The Custody Battle: A Reflection about 2 Fighting Prostitutes

 *Each morning, I intentionally start with God's word. To get a new perspective on the familiar stories, I am currently reflecting specifically on the women in male-dominated texts. This week I have been in 1 Kings, and reading the stories we often consider about King Solomon. Below is one of my reflections that I felt is very applicable to the world we live in. Right now seemed a safe time to share it, as I do not know anyone in the middle of a custody battle.*

The story of these two women is no doubt to point to Solomon’s wisdom. It is a story of 2 prostitutes living together. One of their babies dies. The fight is a she said/she said. We are not told if Prostitute 1 rolled over, killed her baby, and then switched the babies. Perhaps Prostitute 2 woke up to see her child was dead, and brought the matter to court to seize the other one’s child as her own.  What we do know is that both prostitutes wanted to avoid the shame of losing their baby. And we know that between the two women they knew who the baby’s real mother was. 

Solomon also believes that one woman is lying, but recognizes that he cannot decipher from their stories which one it is. So he threatens the baby’s life…to give each woman half. The liar of the two, sees this as fair. If she can’t have her baby (who is dead) than no one should have their baby. Even here, you can see her jealousy arise. Half of a dead baby at least clears her from the shame of smothering her child. But the true mother loves her child so much, she is willing to sacrifice her parental rights so that the child can live. 

Wow. It totally makes me think about the many times in divorced families when a child is used as a pawn as the king tries to checkmate the queen…or vice versa. Parents fight over the child’s custody, and pull at the child, planting ideas of hatred toward the other parent, sometimes even making the child claim neglect or abuse against the other parent when no such abuse is present. Just like Prostitute 1, the parent’s reputation as the good parent outweighs the child’s best interest. 

And yet a true parent is willing to give up their child, whether for a weekend, or some other way, for the child’s best interest. It is not easy. Think of the true mother in the story. She was not giving her child to someone she trusted fully or agreed with in parenting style. She was giving her baby to someone who had killed her own child and lied about it. Someone who had tarnished the mother’s reputation as a good mother. And yet, her child’s life still meant more than her raising it on her own. I am not saying that we should not stand up for a child in an abusive situation, but often times we separate as parents because of flaws we see in the other, even though that person should know their child. A true parent puts the child’s life first, before their feelings about each other.