My kids are amazing teachers. They have taught me things that my 4 years in undergraduate Pastoral Studies, my 5 years getting my Masters of Divinity, my semester in Clinical Pastoral Education, and my 2 years in Resident in Ministry Program couldn't do nearly as well. Here are some of the things they have taught me that all that formal education couldn't:1. You always think better after counting down from 5. It's true. Kids just spilled the very last of the milk? Unrolled all the toilet paper from the roll? Let the dogs out of the fence? Did you just hear bad theology from the liturgist? Had a trustee complain about the bikes in your backyard? Hear "We tried that before, and it didn't work"? Take a breath, count back from 5. It will help you to respond with grace and patience.
2. How to help the hurting. It just looks like a skinned knee and my initial thought is to say, "Suck it up, buttercup." (That is a family saying from my childhood...sorry if the language offends you.) But that won't help the tears on my 8 year old's face. But what does help, is when I examine it closely, and say, "Ooh, you really got it. It looks like that really hurts. I would cry too." and give them a hug and wipe away the tears. Often times, we can't do anything as pastors to heal someone's wounds, but we can say they are real, and offer a hug. Just as it helps my child's tears to clear up, it often helps to just be heard and understood.
3. Pray like you mean it. Kids are master-prayers. They aren't caught up in who (other than God) is listening. They don't care about making it pretty or long. They just pray with their hearts, tell God some jokes in the process, and pray with faith. They continually teach me to pray like I mean it.
4. How to react when someone is lost. The other day my 6 year old disappeared. When I finally found him (not at all where I left him) he was expecting me to yell. I couldn't. I pulled him in and gave him the biggest hug possible and explained how worried I was that I couldn't find him. When we find people who wander away from God, we often want to yell at them and remind them of their guilt in walking away. Usually what they need most is someone to show them love and compassion...to say "I'm so glad God found you!"
5. People come first. My children constantly remind me that while folding clothes is nice, they are willing to pull something wrinkly out of the hamper if it means snuggling with me on the couch. There are going to be weeks the sermon is going to be rough because people need you present during the week. It is okay. Being there with compassion is more important than presentation perfection.
6. We all get a little grumpy sometimes. I know I am not making supper fast enough, and you are starving, and that is why you when your sister told you to stop, you poked her with your light saber and then she started crying and called you a poopy-head, and now you are sobbing because she was mean. But supper is coming. And in an hour neither one of you will remember this moment and you will be happily playing light saber fight without one single tear. I also know that it is frustrating that our giving is down and our friends at the other church keep poking us with the fact they are doing just fine financially, but we are being faithful with the least and the lost, and one day we will see the fruit of that work, even though it seems long in coming. One day. Supper is coming.
7. Jesus really can forgive anything. Even if dementers from Harry Potter suck out your soul. Jesus can restore it. The Bible says so. "He restoreth my soul." If he can do that, he surely can forgive the addict who never overcomes addiction in this life. He can forgive the criminal no matter what the crime. He can forgive just about anything because he is the restorer of souls.
8. I am ok. To my kids, I am the best mother in the world. On one of those Mother's Day worksheets that the daycare had the kids fill out, my kid said I was good at preaching. I personally don't see what they see. I see all the mistakes I make as a parent and a pastor. I see how little I know, and how much guess work I do to pull off these jobs. So I try to see myself as my kids do...and how God does...with just the right amount of good stuff to do his work, and just enough imperfection to lean fully on him in all I do.
9. It is important to step back and let them do it. Whether it is listening to them read for the the first time or watching them ride a bike for the first time, an important part of motherhood is letting your kids try...and fail...and try...until they have mastered the task. As people develop in their faith and try out new ways to serve or grow, they may fail at quite a few times before finding the right fit. Sometimes its finding a small group, starting a small group, trying a new way to serve others, sharing their faith, or leading in a way they haven't before. Just as with my kids, its important as a pastor to encourage them to keep trying, to show them different methods for getting better, and for me to wait patiently, when they say, "I can do it by myself." When they succeed, I am there excited about what they have done.
10. Every age is my favorite and the hardest at the same time. When they were babies, I loved every new experience, and yet missed sleep soooo much. Now that they are older I love that they can read and do sports but I am not a fan that they despise bath time. (C'mon! It used to be your favorite!) How true in the church. I love all maturities of faith, and all ages of people, but often for different things and in different ways. I love the memories of those in the nursing home...but it is so hard to watch their health deteriorate. I love the kids...but they are physically exhausting to keep up with. I love those new in the faith...but they need a lot of encouragement in finding their calling. I love our mature in the faith...but they often need to be reminded of the hope in their midst. They are all my favorites and the hardest at the same time.
Being a mom and a pastor is such a privilege. God has entrusted me with these kids, and with these people. The older I get, the more I see how God uses each role to inform the other. I won't lie. There have been many times when I have complained to God that ministry...life...would be easier as a man. But God reminds me that he has called me for all I am. He uses even my motherhood to make me a stronger agent of his. Thank you, God, for using every part of my life to strengthen my calling and for choosing me for your ministry!
No comments:
Post a Comment