My Brother’s Keeper

^“Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.  Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” “I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?” The Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground.” Genesis  4:8–10

My five year old was in the bath tub when he asked his sister to get his boat toy.  She shrugged her shoulder’s and answered, “It’s not my responsibility.”

I called her into her room. She had been doing this on and off for awhile, and every time it grated on me. It was time to have the conversation.

So where do you start in that conversation? With Cain killing Abel and telling God, “I am not my brother’s keeper”? I have noticed that this particular story is left out of all of her children’s Bible story books.  And she wasn’t murdering her brother, she just was being apathetic about helping him.

So I started with the holocaust. Okay, I know that is pretty extreme. But there were many individuals, and nations who were apathetic as World War 2 began. Many people died because of the apathy of others.  After all, it wasn’t their responsibility. I am sure I could have thought of other moments in history as well. The group Sojourners began because Christians were watching the turmoil of civil rights and realized their white churches were saying, “it isn’t our responsibility” and thought the church should be helping those seeking equality. In the story of the Good Samaritan, the hero is the first of four bystanders who took responsibility for the man at the side of the road. But, the first thing that came to my mind were those who died at the hands of evil men because it of a “it isn’t my responsibility” attitude.

But as I am finishing up the lecture, I realize I just made EVERYONE EVERYWHERE her responsibility. That was not right either. So I added a little to this.

“We have to help those who can’t do it themselves.”

Zeke was in the tub, and clearly couldn’t reach his toy. Lydia was inches away. She could have helped. So she should have. That doesn’t mean she has to go get stuff for him when he is perfectly able with same amount of effort to do it himself. It doesn’t mean caring for others trumps her own self care.

But our response should not be, “It isn’t my responsibility.”

So I am curious, how do you teach the next generation to help others in a balanced way? I feel like I am still learning where this line is myself, especially as someone who is often asked to help. It is a fine line to walk, and an important lesson to learn. So how do you do it?