Not a Mistake: Calling and Gender

            I want to talk about being an American Christian…while simultaneously being a female and a leader. We have a problem in American Christianity, that while we have come to terms that God thinks slavery is bad, we still believe that God thinks women are not as good as men. We don’t think they should be outspoken and we definitely don’t think they should tell us what to do. In the secular world, this is called sexism. In the Christian world, this is called theology.

               While there have been thousands of theologians and books written on how this is consistently opposed by the women God called into leadership throughout scripture* and in the early church, American Christians still like to throw it in female leaders faces. We are told consistently that we are not qualified because of our chromosomes. I would like to share my witness of what this has looked like in my ministry and what transformation would look like.

               I was called by God into pastoral ministry when I was in junior high. I had heard from my mother, a CPA, and my school over and over that I could be anything I wanted to be. While this seemed like an awfully important job, if others could do it, I surely could. After all, since early elementary, I had been placed as the leader for every group and project possible. I wasn’t afraid of stages, and could already speak and sing in front of a crowd. It was a calling that made sense.

               From that beginning, almost all the push back I have received about my career choice has been because of my gender. It started with my Baptist friends pointing out that God didn’t call women and I must have a pride issue to think God was calling me. It was followed by my pastor refusing to mentor me because I was too much of a liability. Then, I watched Christians I trusted at my church change churches because the new pastor’s wife served as pastor of another church. Did you hear that? It was even that they were hiring a female. It was that his wife couldn’t come to events. 

               When I insisted on a private Christian university so I could start preparing right away, my wise mother encouraged me to choose the university affiliated with a denomination that ordained women. Even within that college, my closest female friends were confident God could not have called me because I was a female. Perhaps as a Christian Education major, or a youth pastor, but God did not call women to be lead pastors. In my ministry courses, there were two females per thirty students. The men would not talk to the females because surely we were there to become a pastor’s wife, and they weren’t ready for that kind of commitment.

               Upon leaving college, no one would hire me. The reason? Both my denomination and that of my school were “Old Boys Clubs.” After 9 months of searching, I agreed to start applying as a co-pastor with my husband. I was careful to put his name first, but when it was time to preach, I took the reins. Best foot forward.

At our first church, a leader in the church told my husband he need to do a better job of silencing me. In our second church, when other pastors in the area asked why I wasn’t in their denomination, I said, “I’m female. You wouldn’t hire me.” I have fought to follow my call in 3 denominations. As the first female pastor in a church, I have been told, “I didn’t think I would like a female pastor, but you’re alright.” Well, thank you. I try. I’ve been introduced, only to have parishioners add, “yeah, my pastor has boobs” and my husband be introduced and the parishioner explain, “no, my pastor is a woman. You thought the pastor was gay, didn’t you?”

I get it. I am female. I have spent many a time in prayer asking God if he may have made a mistake in either my call or my gender. He always says no to both. Not a mistake. I have to work harder and do better than a man and still constantly have my authority questioned.

The first time I got push back because of gender, my mother grumbled, “I thought I fought this fight for her already.” I tell my daughter, just like my mother taught me, that she can be and do anything with her life. My prayer is that that statement is truer for her than it has been for me.

For it to become true, the church has got to change. We have got to stop taking scripture out of context. We have got to be a less sexist church. God wants to transform us. Why are we so resistant? Here are some simple things as a Christian you can do to aid this transformation. 

1.      Stop believing and teaching your children that women are incapable of leadership.

2.      Hire your pastor according their calling and gifts and graces rather than their gender.

3.      Don’t assume all pastors must be male because yours is.

4.      When you are introduced to someone’s female pastor, don’t call her the pastor’s wife.

5.      Be supportive of Pastor’s husbands.

6.      When you’re nervous about the new pastor because their different than your last one, let it be about all the ways they are different, not just their gender. Actually, stop worrying and trust God. How about that?

7.      When a female pastor does something you don’t agree with, don’t connect it to her gender. All pastors do things you don’t agree with. Let it go.

8.      Don’t treat any pastor differently because of their gender.

9.      Point out blatant sexism for what it is and be a catalyst of change.

10.   Don’t pull Bible verses out of their context. Research. Read the Bible as a whole. Pray.

*Women Leaders in the Bible

1.     Abigail – wife of the wicked Nabal, who made peace with David against her husband’s wishes.

2.     Achsah (or Acsah) – daughter of Caleb. When Caleb promised her to Othniel in marriage, she requested that he increased her dowry to include not only land, but springs of water as well.

3.     Anna the Prophetess – aged Jewish prophetess who prophesied about Jesus at the Temple of Jerusalem.

4.     Athaliah – Queen of Judah during the reign of King Jehoram, and later became sole ruler of Judah for five years.

5.     Claudia - greeted by Paul the Apostle.

6.     Daughters of Philip the Evangelist. Four unmarried daughters who prophesied. Acts

7.     Deborah #2 - Prophetess and the fourth Judge of pre–monarchic Israel

8.     Dorcas, also known as Tabitha. Disciple in Joppa. Known for doing good and helping poor. Made clothes for widows. Raise from death be Peter. Acts.

9.     Elisabeth – Mother of John the Baptist and the wife of Zacharias. 1^st person to recognize Mary’s pregnancy was holy. Luke

10.  Esther (also known as Hadassah) – Queen of the Persian Empire. Saved God’s people from complete annihilation. Esther

11.  Eunice- Mother of Paul’s apprentice Timothy. Taught her son, who would become an evangelist, the Jewish faith even though her husband was gentile. Acts, Timothy

12.  Hammolekheth – possibly ruled over portion of Gilead.

13.  Hannah – A prophetess and citizen of Jerusalem. Mother of Samuel. 1^st Samuel

14.  Hogla (or Hoglah) – One of the five daughters of Zelophehad who fought and won the right to inherit their deceased father's property. Joshua

15.  Huldah – Prophet. II Kings, II Chronicles

16.  Jael – Heroine who killed Sisera to deliver Israel from the troops of king Jabin. 1 Kings

17.  Jehosheba (or Jehoshebeath/Josaba) - saved her nephew Jehoash from massacre. II Kings

18.  Joanna - One of the women who went to prepare Jesus' body for burial. Luke

19.  Jochebed – Mother of Moses, Aaron, and Miriam. Refused to kill infant Moses again law of land. Exodus, Numbers

20.  Julia -member of the imperial court and therefore among the saints to be found in Caesar’s household. Greeted by Paul. Romans

21.  Junia (or Junias) - Called "outstanding among the apostles" by Paul. Went to prison for sharing the Gospel.  Romans

22.  Lois, grandmother of Saint Timothy. II Timothy

23.  Lydia of Thyatira – Brought her whole house the good news of Jesus Christ.

24.  Martha – Disciple of Jesus. Luke, John

25.  Mary – Mother of Jesus. Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts,

26.  Mary the sister of Martha. Anointed Jesus before his death. Luke, John

27.  Mary – First to share the news of the risen savior.

28.  Mary Magdalene – Disciple of Jesus Matthew, Mark, Luke, John

29.  Miriam – Moses' sister and leader of Hebrew people. Exodus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, I Chronicles

30.  Noadiah - prophetess. Nehemiah

31.  Persis - a "woman who has worked hard in the Lord" whom Paul the Apostle greeted. Romans

32.  Phoebe – A deaconess of the church of Cenchrea. Romans

33.  Priscilla – wife of Aquila, and missionary partner to Paul the Apostle. Acts, Romans, I Corinthians, II Timothy

34.  Puah - one of two midwives who saved the Hebrew boys from annihilation. Exodus

35.  Queen Vashti –Refused to dance for drunk husband and friends. Esther

36.  Rahab – of Jericho. Prostitute who aided Hebrew spies. Joshua, Matthew,

37.  Ruth – Ruth saved her mother-in-law from starving and her family line by marrying Boaz. Her son is the direct ancestor of King David and Jesus. Ruth, Matthew

38.  Salome- a follower of Jesus present at his crucifixion as well as the empty tomb. Mark

39.  Sheerah – founded three towns. Descendant of Ephraim. I Chronicles

40.  Shiphrah – one of two midwives who saved the Hebrew boys. Exodus

41.  Susanna - a woman who was nearly sentenced to death due to false adultery accusations before being saved by Daniel. Daniel

42.  Susanna– Supported Jesus out of her own means. Luke

43.  Tamar– revealed Judah’s sin and hypocrisy. Fought for her right to be part of Judah’s family.

44.   Tabitha (Acts 9:36) – AKA 'Dorcas' from Joppa, Tabitha was “always doing good and helping the poor.”           

45.   Woman at the Well- Spoke about Jesus to her whole community and prepared the way for him to speak. John

Transforming 'Town' to 'Community'

“Making Disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world.”

That’s our mission statement at LaFontaine UMC. So what in the world does it mean to “transform” the world? Well, last night at the town Halloween Party we saw what it meant in all of its glory. The entire town came out and worked together and it was amazing. The firefighters made hotdogs and hosted a costume contests for infants to adults. That contest is taken seriously too, with baby gnomes and Pikachus, all the way up to adult gumball machines and family themed Finding Nemo costumes.

The firefighters have been gracious to allow the rest of us to add to their event. This year, next to the fire station, Trunk-or-Treat cars lined up for Trick-or-Treaters. Unlike other Trunk-or-Treats this one was completely community based, with no one organization using it as a marketing tool. Then on the other side of that, the Lion’s Club allowed the Town Park Team to host a bake sale to raise funds for new playground equipment. The Lion’s Club set up next to the fire station with their kettle corn for families too. My favorite addition was from our town’s nursing home. Not only did they provide chili alongside the fire station, but they provided a hay ride across town to their facility, where facility residents passed out candy to trick-or-treaters. In Rolling Meadows’ courtyard, they even set up a haunted maze. 

Okay, so obviously, cool event. But what does that have to do with “transformation?”

Everything. For one thing, this was not a church providing a community service. It was the entire community pulling together and serving each other. It transformed us from a town where people live, to a community where everyone belongs down to our oldest, most vulnerable population. From newly weds, to single moms, everyone was there receiving gifts from nursing home residents. When the nursing home began to run out of candy long before running out of kids, the trunk-or-treat folks gave them some of their stash. We were able to raise money for our town park, a place that physically needs to transform.

This. This is what community looks like. It looks like two teens facetiming to figure out how to make toilet paper into “flesh wounds” and then tying for “scariest costume.” It looks like four different people helping man a bake sale so the mom in charge can participate in trunk-or-treat right outside with her daughter. It looks like 3 families allowing everyone to go in front of them on the hayride and one teenage boy telling the pastor “you sound just like my mom” when he was being considerate of others.  As I whispered to another mom in the midst of the nursing home visit, “This is what community is.”

As a pastor, I am really proud of what my church did to support this party. We didn’t do anything officially as a church, but church people were being faithful disciples in serving their town and building community. Some of us brought in candy for Trunk-or-Treat or treats for the bake sale. Some of us served as firefighters or by passing out candy at Trunk-or-Treat. Others came in and out of costume for the contest and connected with the many people in our community with no church home. By doing this rather than our own Halloween thing, we made a bigger impact on our town and its transformation. We did our mission by being the salt and light in the strangest of places.

Funny how God can take a Halloween party and turn it into something holy and life giving, isn’t it?

Be. Hope.

           

"Be. Hope." is our focus for Charge Conference this year. The Indiana United Methodist Church is encouraging us to tell stories of hope in our churches and community. These are the stories of hope I am sharing with other UM churches throughout Indiana. I hope they inspire you to be hope where ever you are.


 

We provide an afterschool program (KICK) every other week. A year ago, we had roughly twelve students per meeting. God doubled that number to an average of 25 kids per meeting and 46 kids coming through the program this last year. We have doubled our volunteers serving these children as well. Almost all of the elementary aged kids served through our Food Pantry attend KICK regularly. At the end of the school year, we invited our KICK kids to our “Summer of Service” Challenge and asked them to do one service project over the summer. Sixteen kids participated in acts of service including visiting the local nursing home, cleaning tables at the Summer Feed Program, raising money for Relay for Life, and helping advertise for VBS. One of our KICK girls had a baby sister this summer, and our KICK leaders were able to reach out to her family with meals and gifts, and now Mom and Dad are married and excited about visiting us for Sunday worship.

Our census for our Food Pantry is up as well, mainly because recipients are sharing this resources out of compassion for their neighbors who are struggling. A year ago this summer, a young family came to use the food pantry. Yesterday the woman came into use the pantry for the first time in a year  separated due to domestic violence. She had lost her transportation. I glanced out the window to see how she had gotten here and there was a neighbor and pantry recipient as well. This neighbor did not have lots of material resources to help, but knew the church was a resource she could offered. As I helped, the neighbor asked about youth group for this woman’s son.  Another food pantry recipient had stopped in earlier in the week offering garden produce. She said she would take fresh produce to the battered neighbor tomorrow. Our Food Pantry is empowering people to share resources with each other.

The town park was vandalized to the point where equipment was not safe. LaFontaine UMC saw this as an opportunity to reach out. Not only did the church raise funds for a new playground fund, but they took it a step further. On May 15, the church participated in “Change the World” Sunday. Along with other community building activities, a team cleared small trees, shrubs, and brush from the “sledding hill” that had not been functional the winter before.  

But God was not done. The people of our congregation noticed that with the closing of the town’s elementary school, there was no place for children to receive free meals over the summer months. This summer over twenty volunteers fed an average of 30 kids and adults weekly through our federally funded Summer Feed Program. God didn’t just use this program to feed families. God used it to build community. Everyday kids would stop in my office and ask me to have lunch with them. Parents would chat and kids would invite friends. A food pantry girl brought clothes to give away on the “share table.” A food pantry boy stayed after and swept up the floors. Another boy took home a piggy bank and brought it back full for Relay for Life.  Little boys who were going to summer school took home free kids books. God did so much more through the feeding program than we anticipated. We expected to feed physically hungry people. God took it and made into a place that filled souls. He used it to create community in our town.

Through KICK and the Summer Feeding program we expanded VBS from serving seven kids in 2015 to serving thirty-five in 2016. God continues to expand our ministry to the unchurched as we continue to be faithful to those he has placed in our hands.